_unidentified_thoughts_

insane

our society is run by insane people for insane objectives – I think we’re being run by maniacs for maniacal ends – if anyone can put on paper what our government and the american government and the russian, chinese – what they are actually trying to do, and what they think they are doing – I would be very pleased to know what they think they are doing – I think they are all insane and I think I’m liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. that’s what’s insane about it.

:- john lennon

23
November 2025

bunkbed

had the worst day ever. i paid a joiner to build me a double bed and he’s done a bunk. it’s just one thing on top of another.  

:- unidentified

23
November 2025

violin

“its very hard to live in a studio apartment in san jose with a man who’s learning to play the violin” thats what she told the police when she handed them the empty revolver

:- richard brautigan

31
May 2025

flying

the knack of flying lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss

:- douglas adams

18
May 2025

sad

chemically happy is the new sad

 

:- unbending trees

18
May 2025

stroganoff

apparently you can’t use ‘beef stew’ as a password. its not stroganoff

 

:- anon

08
April 2025

children

my wife and i decided we don’t want children. it was a difficult decision, but we’re telling them tonight.

 

:- anon

20
March 2025

dishes

everybody wants to save the earth. no-one wants to help mom do the dishes

:- p j o’rourke

07
October 2024

drink

i drink to make other people more interesting

:- ernest hemingway

07
October 2024

kayak

i remember going on a canoe trip with a friend once….he got a bit cold so against advice lit a small fire on the boat to keep him warm…but it melted the skin and the boat sank…which shows that ‘you can’t have your kayak and heat it’

:- tommy cooper

06
May 2024

horse

you can lead a horse to water but you can’t climb a ladder with a rabbit in each hand

:- bob mortimer

31
March 2024

reality

reality is a state brought on by the lack of alcohol

:- anon

31
January 2024

coffee

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time 

:- steven wright

31
January 2024

fishing

there’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

:- steven wright

09
December 2023

thesaurus

what’s another word for thesaurus?

:- steven wright

09
December 2023

weird

I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing anything weird wasn’t weird at all and it was the people saying they were weird that were weird

:- paul mccartney

09
December 2023

light

light thinks it travels faster than anything. but it is wrong. no matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

:- terry pratchett

08
April 2023

spicy food

when you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. when i was in india last summer, i was listening to a lot of michael bolton

:- jimmy carr 

01
April 2023

ladders

will the person who stole the ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken

:- vonovitch

17
January 2022

people who say

people who say ‘lets do this’ – please don’t do that

:- alan bennett

13
August 2020
1 2 3 … 8
Crushed // Melon
  1. Crushed // Melon
  2. Heavy Wait // Melon
  3. Hello Boys // Melon
  4. Why I Hate the Sixties // Melon
  5. The Last Dream // Melon
  6. Sheila // Melon
  7. Saturday Girl // Melon
  8. Park and Ride // Melon
  9. Now I know // Melon
  10. My Crap Life // Melon