_unidentified_thoughts_

I bought the A4 pad from may’s shop like I always do and wrote ‘on it’ on it – on the front of it. Then I opened the A4 pad like I always do and got a pen that I will have lost half a dozen times – lost and found – found then lost again and picked up the now found pen and found I was lost – lost for words

– tony pitts

one afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. because we didn’t have a fireplace

– victor borge

roses are red, violets are blue, i’m schizophrenic and so am I

– oscar levant

why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

– al mcguire

today there’s something cloying about people’s compulsive need to be in touch all the time. In the 1960s, husbands and wives set out for their day’s work and came together again only when that work was done: there were none of those “i’m on the train” messages telling every stranger within a 10-yard radius the details of your private life. this difference was more than technical. people had individual lives to lead and were less dependent on each other for the rough and tumble of daily living. the call from the supermarket (“which pesto sauce do you want?”) was unthinkable. and not only because we’d never heard of pesto. people simply had to make decisions for themselves and it made them more resourceful. harold and I were very resourceful indeed

– joan bakewell

lead us not into temptation. just tell us where it is; we’ll find it

– sam levenson

change is inevitable – except from a vending machine

– robert gallagher

strangely enough the products bacon, eggs, bread and milk – when played on the receipt print head of the self serve till in tescos express this morning – perfectly recreated a small section of the james bond theme tune

– richard stephens